Research indicates that one in seven women in Hong Kong has experienced sexual violence, yet fewer than one in ten of these victims seeks help, let alone shares their experiences publicly. Thanks to the courage of nine survivors of childhood sexual abuse who agreed to speak out, this book documents their life stories. Survivors Speaking not only recounts their experiences of victimisation but, more importantly, explores how they have confronted their trauma and learned to live fulfilling lives despite it.
The nine survivors, spanning generations from the 1950s to the 2000s, share a common thread: their abusers were all familiar figures. Alarmingly, in eight of these cases, the perpetrators were family members or relatives. Despite growing up in different eras, the survivors in this book faced similar familial challenges and encountered numerous obstacles when seeking help. Yet, amidst these difficulties, there were moments of small but significant hope. The unresolved issues from their childhoods have left them carrying the identity of survivors, as they continue to navigate the path of healing and write new chapters in their lives.
For over two decades, RainLily has been dedicated to providing counselling and support to survivors of sexual violence, while also advocating for education and policy reform. This book is one such educational initiative, aimed at helping children and adolescents understand sexual violence and equipping the public—especially parents—with the knowledge and empathy needed to reduce secondary harm to survivors and foster a more compassionate society.
Author: RainLily
Editor: Albert Yau
Assistant editor: To Ka Hing, Lina Xie
Executive editor: Enoch Yee-lok Tam
Art & Design: mmmmor studio
Illustrator: Chan Oi Yu
Acknowledgement: The Community Chest of Hong Kong, Lee Hysan Foundation
Edition: First edition, March 2022; Second edition, December 2022
ISBN: 978-988-74162-0-3
DOI: https://doi.org/10.70783/survivor
Page: 348
Price: HK$128
Language: Complex Chinese
Content
Foreword 1: Thank You for Letting Us Hear You (by Susanne Yuk-ping Choi)
Foreword 2: “Victims” Are Also “Survivors” (by Hung Suet-lin)
Foreword 3: Through Stormy Nights, Grateful for Your Companionship (by Linda Wong)
A Step, A Lifetime — Auntie Lan
When Good People Go Unrewarded — Ah B
Never Too Late — Ah Ha
Living Well Amidst Turmoil — Ice Cream Girl
The Second Half of the Story — Pema
Moments That Can’t Be Forgotten — Ah Chiu
A Foreigner’s Journey — Nicole
Leaving, for the Sake of… — Ah Yan
Planting Flowers Beneath the High Wall — Vera
About RainLily
Established in 2000 by the Association Concerning Sexual Violence Against Women, RainLily is Hong Kong’s first one-stop sexual violence crisis support centre. It provides 24-hour support services specifically for women aged 14 and above who have experienced sexual violence. Serving as a coordination mechanism for various services, RainLily offers counselling, medical, legal, and other appropriate support to help survivors of sexual violence rebuild their self-esteem and confidence. Currently, RainLily receives over 2,000 requests for assistance annually and provides in-depth support and follow-up services to more than 300 survivors of sexual violence each year.
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Recommendations (Extracted from the foreword, listed in the order their appearance in the book)
Through the personal experiences of these nine women, we come to understand just how challenging the situations faced by most survivors of sexual assault truly are. Their stories reveal that to genuinely eliminate sexual violence, society must confront the patriarchal family structures that foster such abuse, improve the social status of women, and reduce the stigmatisation of survivors.
──Susanne Yuk-ping Choi, Professor, Department of Sociology, The Chinese University of Hong Kong; Co-Director, Gender Research Centre, Asia-Pacific Institute
Many perpetrators of childhood sexual abuse are family members or close relatives of the victims. One can only imagine the shock experienced by the victims during the assault. Given their young age, they are often unable to leave the situation, enduring prolonged threats and fear. I hope this collection of oral histories will raise awareness among the public and professionals about sexual abuse, fostering greater understanding and acknowledgment for survivors. More importantly, I hope it will inspire participation and support in improving mainstream culture, social services, and the judicial system to prevent all forms of sexual violence.
──Hung Suet-lin, Professor and Department Head, Department of Social Work, Hong Kong Baptist University
I must express my heartfelt gratitude to the survivors of sexual violence for their sincere and courageous sharing. Without their participation and effort, this book would not have been possible. As I read their life stories, I see their struggles and pain as they navigate the aftermath of sexual violence. Yet, within their suffering, there are moments where others extended small acts of kindness, reminding me of the connections between human lives. While suffering may bring helplessness to individuals, it must not render the world heartless. We must never allow survivors of sexual violence to suffer alone or be forgotten.
──Linda Wong, Executive Director, Association Concerning Sexual Violence Against Women & RainLily
Praises and Reviews
Survivors Speaking is an important yet deeply unsettling book. Published by the sexual violence crisis support organisation RainLily, it recounts the experiences of nine female survivors of childhood sexual abuse. These women come from diverse backgrounds, spanning generations from the 1950s to the 2000s. Despite their differences, they share the common trauma of being sexually assaulted by people they knew, and they were subjected to injustice under various societal, cultural, and institutional systems.
Survivors Speaking is not a pessimistic book that saps the reader’s willpower. On the contrary, you will find positive meaning in each story: Auntie Lan, who ran away from home at 17, channelled her anger into strength, rented a small factory space with friends, and managed to buy a flat in Amoy Gardens by the age of 22; Ah Mei, who often “quit jobs on a whim,” was terrified of ghosts, but found paternal love and care from a friend’s father; Nicole, who faced challenges in building intimacy with her boyfriend but eventually married him, learning to reward herself with snacks after work. All of them strive to live their lives to the fullest.
The stories in this book reveal how a survivor’s willingness to speak the truth is influenced by various factors, such as a conservative family background, already fragile family relationships, or sibling rivalries. Yet, even when they muster the courage to speak out, the resulting misunderstandings or prejudices often lead to further deterioration of family bonds, creating an inescapable cycle.